The Mercy Memo

Oh, it happened as I was reading “Pollyanna” by Eleanor Porter for free from Google books. We in the US tend to say someone is a “Pollyanna” when they look at things, well, almost as if they are looking at things through rose colored glasses.

I will tell you that looking at things like the way E. Porter wrote about is nothing to take lightly.

What am I talking about?

Well, you see, Pollyanna is an orphan. Her father and mother were sent as missionaries to the west. Her mother dies and her father years later dies. While her father is alive, the only support they get is from the local Lady’s Aid. They get barrels shipped from the East to the West with whatever stuff can be packed. Basically it’s the cast offs from donations sent to help the missionaries.

Can you imagine? You get nothing but what is the cast offs from people hundreds of miles away.

One day, Pollyanna is desperately wanting a doll. In the mission barrel is a pair of crutches. So her father tells her to be glad. Glad that she doesn’t need the crutches. Because there are over 800 verses that tell us to be joyful.

So, how does one have joy in today’s world… I mean really we’re in a different world than the one Pollyanna lived in when she needed that doll, right?

Or are we?

Don’t we also need the reality of joy in our lives more, even more today?

I made a decision. It would be to make the decision to be glad about everything. Be glad that I was tired and hungry, because that meant I had worked hard and earned that meal. Be glad that we are moving as it gives us a chance for a new and better home with more land.

Pollyanna gets hurt and looses the use of her legs and she struggles to be glad for it. But the people around her come to her and remind her that in her service, of telling others she is glad, she has made them see the gladness around them.

Search for the glad. Play Pollyanna’s glad game and give someone else the gift of joy.

What do we stand vigil for? It’s funny to me that the idea of a vigil in the modern understanding is something like a stakeout. Police keeping a vigil on someone.

The real idea and the thought of tonight’s Saturday Vigil before Easter Sunday is sitting up with a friend who’s sick but you know he’s recovering.

You know your friend is seriously ill, so you go to the hospital, despite not liking the hospital, you go there anyway, to sit with them, comfort them, be there. You know that your presence is important to your friend. When his eyes open, he’s going to look for YOU.

This is the Vigil before Easter. We go, we sing a very special song called the Exsultet.

It is truly the whole Church celebrating our Friend, Our Lord, rising from the dead:

Rejoice, heavenly powers! Sing, choirs of angels!
Exult, all creation around God’s throne!
Jesus Christ, our King, is risen!
Sound the trumpet of salvation!

Rejoice, O earth, in shining splendor,
radiant in the brightness of your King!
Christ has conquered! Glory fills you!
Darkness vanishes for ever!

Rejoice, O Mother Church! Exult in glory!
The risen Savior shines upon you!
Let this place resound with joy,
echoing the mighty song of all God’s people!

My dearest friends,
standing with me in this holy light,
join me in asking God for mercy, that he may give his unworthy minister grace to sing his Easter praises.

Deacon: The Lord be with you.
People: And also with you.
Deacon: Lift up your hearts.
People: We lift them up to the Lord.
Deacon: Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.
People: It is right to give him thanks and praise.

It is truly right that with full hearts and minds and voices
we should praise the unseen God, the all-powerful Father,
and his only Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

For Christ has ransomed us with his blood,
and paid for us the price of Adam’s sin to our eternal Father!

This is our passover feast, when Christ, the true Lamb, is slain,
whose blood consecrates the homes of all believers.

This is the night when first you saved our fathers:
you freed the people of Israel from their slavery
and led them dry-shod through the sea.

This is the night when the pillar of fire destroyed the darkness of sin!

This is the night when Christians everywhere,
washed clean of sin and freed from all defilement,
are restored to grace and grow together in holiness.

This is the night when Jesus Christ broke the chains of death
and rose triumphant from the grave.

What good would life have been to us, had Christ not come as our Redeemer?
Father, how wonderful your care for us!
How boundless your merciful love!
To ransom a slave you gave away your Son.

O happy fault, O necessary sin of Adam,
which gained for us so great a Redeemer!

Most blessed of all nights, chosen by God to see Christ rising from the dead!

Of this night scripture says: “The night will be as clear as day:
it will become my light, my joy.”

The power of this holy night dispels all evil, washes guilt away, restores lost innocence, brings mourners joy;
it casts out hatred, brings us peace, and humbles earthly pride.

Night truly blessed when heaven is wedded to earth and man is reconciled with God!

Therefore, heavenly Father, in the joy of this night,
receive our evening sacrifice of praise, your Church’s solemn offering.

Accept this Easter candle, a flame divided but undimmed,
a pillar of fire that glows to the honor of God.

(For it is fed by the melting wax, which the mother bee brought forth to make this precious candle.)

Let it mingle with the lights of heaven and continue bravely burning to dispel the darkness of this night!

May the Morning Star which never sets find this flame still burning: Christ, that Morning Star, who came back from the dead, and shed his peaceful light on all mankind, your Son, who lives and reigns for ever and ever.
Amen.

Think on this song of love, the Exsultet, for your Friend getting better, rising from the dead, bringing new life.

“He did not say: You will not be troubled – you will not be tempted – you will not be distressed. But He said: You will not be overcome.”

-Julian of Norwich

If we won’t be overcome, it’s like that saying, “if you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do?”

What could you begin today that would not fail?

“Nothing is more pleasing to God than unshaken faith and confidence in the midst of darkness. Make a great practice of acts of confidence even when you feel nothing. It is just in these moments of dryness and darkness that these acts are most meritorious.”

-Blessed Columba Marmion

I walked by Healey’s in Wakefield. Thought, “great day for a Reece’s cup”. Started to argue with myself over whether I should or shouldn’t. Then I realized that I know better. I prayed. And walked past. Lenten choice to have no sugar is difficult but not insurmountable.

That is sin. Knowing the temptation is there and making the choice to move on anyway. Perfection is in acting correction with the right choice not going without the temptation. (no, I’m not perfect but I figure why tell myself I am a failure when I have made this small victory?).

I am sitting here in the cool afternoon light. It’s gray and dreary outside because the weather has turned cold. We actually had snow this morning. The sounds of the girls singing in the kitchen as they clean up after doing some cooking. The smell of brownies from the oven fills the air.

The dogs are lying in various stages around the house, wishing they could be with the girls in the kitchen. We don’t allow dogs in the kitchen for safety reasons.

A cold wind blows outside and the sun is going down. Soon it will be dark.

Did you ever wonder what to do with all the negative that is inside? I wrote back an email to someone on an email list we share. When I really started to get worked up about it, I decided to put it away. To stop the negative to move away from what is harmful to me and hurtful to the other.

I have been struggling with a matter of pride. I have been thinking, like I told you, that I was thinking of other’s opinions while in Mass. I figured out what to do.

So many people say that they can’t control themselves, they are driven to do something, and have no control. I recently read an article about a priest who embezzled thousands from his parish and church (he became a pastor of a baptist church) for … Pornography.

I have struggled with temptation in forms large and small. At some point, God gives you a door. I found my door at Mass yesterday. In my pride, I was looking to others. When I come to a point where I am drawn to others, wondering what they think, I turn away and pray. And continue as if I never thought about the others.

Could this priest have done the same thing? Could he stopped himself? Venerable Matt Talbot was addicted to alcohol by the time he was 12. 12. And with the help of a priest, was able to stop the addiction. In my case and in Vn. Talbot’s the problem will remain. I will ALWAYS be drawn to the opinion of others. It is my choice to turn away.

I won’t ever be free of the things that tempt me. Satan will always try to draw me away from God with these things.

I choose to turn away.

And turn to Him.

So, I have been on sabbatical. NO, I didn’t go hiking the Himalays, nor did I go stay in a Monastery contemplating the meaning of life and everything (42). No, Life Just Got In the Way. I think that happens to everyone. Life Just Does that.

I stared at my web page, waiting for the words to come. They wouldn’t. I am mulling over the myriad different things I could write about, ponder out loud or type in general. I am staring out at the beautiful fall colors, the wind blowing through the trees, gold, green, yellow.

The various themes that run through my head have to do with the battle that has been raging through my spiritual life currently. You see, I stand in the Church and I pray and I sing and I love God, and all those things and sometimes, I am just unable to let myself, my constraints go. I think about what the people in front of me think of my singing. I wonder if the people behind will ask me about my head covering.

I am praying that my pride, my life, my heart will be wholly God’s and God’s alone.

Sigh.

I was driving yesterday. I drove from Rhode Island to Ohio. That’s 13 hours by car. In case you don’t know, it’s about 800 miles. And Wednesday, after spending some time with my daughter, son-in-law and two grand kids (third from their family on the way), I will drive another 800 miles to Kansas City.

Why? Might you ask? Because I want for my daughter what I could not have. You see, my 3rd of 4 wants to train horses for a living. She is horse crazy. In fact, she is so horse crazy that we actually bought her a shirt from www.wildhorsefeathers.com (a company I have known about since my 21 yo was 7 when we lived in RI) that says “here’s one little girl who would rather clean a stall than her own room”. Way to appropriate for her.

So, here I am, causing myself pain, becoming tired, bored and my shoulders are tight and my backside is so numb, it took me an hour to get the feeling back.

Why? Because I would do anything for my children. Does that mean I won’t make her eat veggies or clean her room. It just means I want to give her anything she wants.

Just like God. He wants to give us anything. We must just ask. If you are afraid of praying, then just ask like you would a parent. “Can I please have help with my weight?” Just like you would ask your parent or you would have your child ask. “Mom, will you please help me with my home work?” “Jesus, please help me understand my family.”

God is our parent. He is our tender mother, our strongest father, and our tenderest Grandparent. He gladly, became bored, tired, in pain, bled, even died, so that we could have what we want. Christ even says, “What father would give his son a stone when he asked for bread, or a snake when he asked for fish? How much greater is our Father in Heaven when we ask Him? (my paraphrase)”

Do you see? Do you have kids? Would you do whatever you could to give them what they want? Of course. I know someone who doesn’t even want his kids doing chores so that they might have what he didn’t. I believe he is hampering his children, but I understand his desire: to give to his children what he could not have or what he couldn’t give them before.

Ask your Father. Now, understand this, God will not give you everything you ask for because you don’t need everything. You really don’t need a Porsche any more than my daughter needs to eat chocolate all day every day. She would 1) die of malnutrition and 2) be fat as a house. And yes, you can be fat and die of malnutrition. So comes the truth. God won’t give us everything… only what is good for us.

And if I can drive for a little to give my daughter a gift that could help her be a great trainer, than who am I to deny her? And if God can send us His Son to die to give us Heaven… He can’t deny us because of His love.

I love you, Nichole, I’m glad we made this trip. And in similar words, The Bible says, “For God so loved the World that He gave His only begotten Son so that whosoever believeth in Him would have Eternal Life.”

What a trip. I’ll try and post tomorrow.

Augustine said that the Holy Trinity was like a clover, three lobes, one leaf. I woke this morning and prayed and a thought came to me.

The Kingdom of Heaven is like a restaurant.

Ok.

Alright, so here is what my early-morning-no-tea-muddled-thoughts-but-prayer-clear mind thought. We are like the patrons of a restaurant. We come in on the promise of really good food (the critics can’t be right, I mean, no food is as good as they say, right?). We’re skeptical, but we accept our seat (all seats are booths, but really nice ones that you don’t get stuck in). The waiters are angels. They are quick to serve, kind, polite and never get mad and no matter how demanding we are, always do what we ask them to do. They are real Angels.

The Management is top notch, The Mother of God is Shift manager, no matter when you show up. She takes the orders and passes them on to the Kitchen. She is always amongst the tables, checking a meal here, soothing a ruffled feather there, but any orders always go to the Kitchen.

The Kitchen Staff is of course run by the head Chef, Owner and Senior Manager. One Person, Three jobs. They are constantly on the floor, walking amongst the customers. They listen to the suggestions of the customers, but they don’t ever change how they run the restaurant.

The customers are cranky, demanding, rude and thoughtless. They ask for things the restaurant doesn’t have. They ask for strange and even deadly combinations of foods. The Chef always listens to the orders, suggestions, and smiles. He comes out and asks how the final product tastes. He makes sure that each and every piece of food that passes a customer’s lips is the right thing for that customer at that time.

He’s good like that. He always makes sure the food is the right food, healthy and nutritious, balanced and perfect. Always fresh.

Many times the customers well order these strange things, but every so often a customer comes in and says, “whatever the Chef will make for me” and the Chef goes wild. He pours His Heart into the order and it is a beautiful thing to behold.

Now this analogy fails in many ways. I can’t seem to account for Satan in my analogy. He is there, trying to confuse and change our prayers and the answers to our prayers (the “food orders”). I can’t seem to show the difference in the customers as much as it really matters to the Heavenly Father: That we have free will and that the choice of martyrs and saints is to give themselves wholy to the Lord… maybe a volunteer at the restaurant? I will have to think on this analogy more.

Anyway, this is what happens when I am only half awake.

God Bless

I started something that the girls hate and I love. I am charging them penalties for missed chores. So far, the Salvation Army is going to have a bountiful Christmas from my beautiful girls.

God is like that, but so much more subtle. We get tasked by God to do things, like be a mom, work at a job, help someone, and what do we do when the tasks are handed to us?

We half do them. We are given a task, like love and care for our children and we give more time to our jobs, friends or going out. Sure, we care for the kids, I mean, you go to jail if you don’t. But caring and CARING are two different things. When did you last spend time doing something THEY wanted to do, just for fun… and I am not talking about going to the arcade.

I am talking about taking a walk and just spending time, listening. Do you listen to them? Do you take the time to really get to know your kids just like when your husband courted you? Do you know and love them like they are in a relationship with you, and not like they are accessories?

That is the difference between doing the task and making the task yours. God gives us tasks and we shoud make them our tasks. Remember when you were a child and mom asked if you wanted to help with the Christmas cookies? You couldn’t wait and she had to keep telling you to wait, to not dump the flour, to not fling the dough, to not eat too much of the dough, to … well you get it.

So, when was the last time you did the tasks God had given you like you were going to help mom with the Christmas cookies? And does He really need to twist your arm to get you to do them, like I have to twist my girl’s arms just a little? I know it will change, I can see it already. Can you be like that too?

I just watched a cute, funny and good movie. Now, I am not a professional critic, so if you hated this movie, I’m sorry. You go ahead. I liked it and I liked it because it went against the Hollywood normalcy of sex, violence, criticizing the Christian faith, and anti-family themes. And it portrayed family, marriage, and prayer in a good light. That and it gave me oodles of great material for my Mercy Memos… pieces for years, if I wanted to milk it that far.

Anyway, today I want to follow along with “God” (Morgan Freeman from Bruce Almighty, driving Miss Daisy and other movies) in a quote: “Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?”

I have had this happen to me: I used to ask for patience, but I don’t anymore. Because He will give me plenty of practice. I used to ask for… well, you get the hint. Smart folks don’t pray for patience, or courage, or faith… because the Lord knows we need to find chances for it, before we’ll grow.

It’s all about growth. If I really want to be a better person (more faithful, more courageous, more loving, more prayerful) then God is going to give me chances. He’s going to give me chances to practice whatever I want, because it is ONLY through adversity and trial that I will grow.

If I want to really be more loving to my family, it would be stupid for it to be easier, because I would then not try as hard. If the kids were nicer, kinder, happier all the time, then it would be easier for me to just accept the status quo. But if the kids are struggling, having issues, angry, then I grow by being more loving and having a chance to practice that love in faith through works, the physical work of love: giving of myself, my time and my energy.

If I want to be more faithful, then it does me no good to have a church of happy people who serve me all the time. I have to put my feet to the path and walk, no matter how bad the sermon, no matter how catty the women, no matter how difficult the situation. If I put my faith in Christ in this situation, He will give me that tools, strength and love to go forth and have more faith.

In Evan Almighty, “God” said that some people see trials, others see opportunities. Have you seen an opportunity to be closer to your family today, this week, Christmas?

Pray for it all, and God will help you get there.

AMDG